Me Space - Table (or Movie) for One?

When I changed careers I completely flipped my availability.   My work schedule changed from Monday to Friday daytime office hours to a much more varied schedule including evenings and Saturdays.  What it meant is that the friends I had spent a lot of my free time with were no longer available when I was available.  But it opened up space for new experiences and new friends and it also gave me more "Me Space."  Me Space is time that belongs only to me.  It might be as little as fifteen minutes or hours and hours.

The thing about "Me Space" is that I can fill it with anything I love to do, or can I?  If I have more time with just me, can I fill it with things I love that are often seen for two people?  Because let's face it, there are certain things that people don't readily do alone like going to the movies, a concert, a restaurant or an art exhibit.  It is done, but do you do it?  I had never done this before; that is, until my schedule flipped and I had this "Me Space" become available on a more frequent basis.  The one I now do the most alone is I go to the movies, usually to an animated film because my children are grown.  In this space, I laugh and I cry and it all feels good.  It is in "Me Space."
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:
1.  Is finding a balanced life stressful for you?

2.  The last time you had "Me Space" how did you fill it?

3.  Have you tried God* first, me second, and everyone else third?

4.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

No Judgment (of Ed or Anyone Else)

I am in a meditation group of about 10 people that meets the same time once per week. Because of individual schedules it's a different mix of people each time.  A few weeks ago it was just me and Ed, a retired parole officer, who I had yet to have a one on one conversations with.  We followed the same structure we had been using each week and when we were finished meditating we shared our meditation experience and a bit of our stories, which are wonderful and complicated.
Fast forward to this past week:  my voracious reader friend recommended two books: Dinner with Edward by Isabel Vincent and The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo.  With all these mentions of the name Edward, I began to pay attention.  What did God* want to tell me?  The answer came at this weeks meditation class, The instructor was there this time, and he began a discussion about judgment of ourselves, of others and of things, and how these are often the thoughts he must let go of during meditation.  This is when a light bulb went off for me.
First you must know that my husband's name is Ed(ward) and we have been in love through joyful times and times of struggle for twenty-nine years. What God was telling me to recognize in this coincidental (or not) repetition of the name Ed(ward) is that I must not pass judgment on anyone, that I must love each and every person like I do my Ed(ward).  Incidentally, as I write this post, I notice that "ward" repeats itself.  So I look up the word "ward". According to Merriam Webster ward means "a person under the protection of a guardian."
Thank you God, this has meaning!  It gives me a new way to work on not judging myself and others:  I just need to simply reframe how I consider each one of us; that is, I must hold myself and each person as dear, whether it's my Ed(ward), myself or anyone else.
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:
1.  Is there someone you are having a hard time holding dear?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

A Faithful No

My last blog was about accepting invitations based on our availability (God is in My Schedule). Today I want to follow up with not accepting invitations by giving a "faithful no."  Specifically, sometimes we need to say no because saying yes doesn't feel right but we feel guilty, awkward, at ill-ease to say no.
But it doesn't need to be this way if we have set up parameters.  In the last post I explained that if my calendar is open then I say yes, even to invites I might normally say no to.  But I also need to have some parameters in my schedule?  For me, starting with Sundays, my go to "faithful no" statements are "I generally do not work on Sundays," "Sundays are a family day for me."  So then it's easy for me to give a response to an invitation:  "Thanks for the invitation, but I am not available on Sundays."
There are also times when I have carved out "me time."  This time is actually blocked off on my planner.  I do this when my schedule would feel too full if I accepted something else and so I keep the time for myself.  As a result, when I am invited to be a part of something, but it is a time when I have blocked off space for me, I am simply able to give a faithful no by saying "I am unavailable."  .
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:
1.  What parameters do you have around your availability?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.
 

God is in My Schedule

Sometimes we are not sure whether or not to accept an invitation, say for a product party (we toggle between wanting comaraderie and not wanting expenditures) or a weekend getaway (time for me versus time for duties).  Maybe it's work related (networking event) but saying yes would take us away from other business matters.  Maybe it's not our favorite thing to do (tickets to a rap concert), but we feel a tug at our heartstrings to say yes.
Here's what has helped me decide.  If I have the space available, I say yes.  It takes away the struggle that can come with weighing out a yes versus a no. Conversely, if I have a conflict but I am interested, I write both things on my calendar.  That's when the magic happens for me.  Quite frequently, one of those things gets canceled or the date changes for one of the events so I can do both.  Sometimes it's that one of those things becomes more prominent or of greater importance (Senior Night for Varsity Soccer) then I need to decline the other invitation (or in my case change a work appointment).
This process all happened for me when I first started my business seven years ago.  I had lots of open space and my immediate reaction to invites would be to say no.  But then I heard that inner spirit wisdom speaking: "but you have the time," "it will be a new experience," "put yourself out there," "you will meet amazing people" (because God* makes only amazing people, you just need to meet them in order to learn their story).
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:
1.  What is the most recent invitation you struggled with?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Path of Peace

     Some days when I set out to blog I have so many things swirling around in my head I don't know what to pick,  That's because God* set out on this blogging journey with me and my God is an awesome God, wanting me (and everyone) to be successful.
     This morning I journaled about my birthday.  My daughter was off school and kept me company in between clients, my son kept calling until he got me live to bestow birthday greetings, and my husband sprinkled gifts to me throughout the day.  But this was only some of the surface pieces.
     It's about the moments in between the gifts and wishes that I want to share.  This is because today, after my morning journaling, I asked God what I should know and the response was in the rephrasing of the Psalms by Nan Merrill.  I opened randomly to page 184 and read about God setting us on a peaceful path.
   What I had also journaled about, and God wanted me to recognize, is that my daughter showed us her sketchbook on this day and one of the drawings was of one of my husband's photographs.  My son, when he finally reached me, told me that he was enjoying the blog and thought the reflective questions were thought-provoking.
     What I realized is that the development of these blog posts and the creation of photographs would not have happened if we had not followed a path of peace.  For us it meant changing careers seven years ago, but it doesn't need to be so drastic.  This path of peace is available to everyone and it promises a way of living that is most gratifying to each of us as individuals.  The tricky part is that we usually can't see where the path is going.
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:

1. Is your idea of success the same as God's idea?

2.  What would happen if you moved aside and let God take the lead?

3.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

When People Do the Right Thing

Over 20 years ago I found an envelope on the floor of the Acme Supermarket with over $200 cash in it.  I turned it in to the customer service desk and they said they would put it in their safe and call me in a week if no one had claimed it.

I called my grandfather to tell him about what happened because he was always telling stories about finding things like money in the coin return slot of pay phones, a bag of potatoes and cold beer (wink, wink to the last item, I just figured out that was a joke!).

Grandpa said I would never see that money again because it would be claimed by someone who had access to the safe.  Well fortunately he was wrong!  I got a call a week later that the money was mine.  It felt really good to tell my grandpa the ending to this story.

Essentially whoever had safeguarded that money had done the right thing.  It feels so good when we can count on the kindnesses or righteousness of strangers.
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:

1.  Do you count on the kindnesses of strangers?  Why or why not?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Feel Good Without Comparisons

On January 26 I wrote about how I feel good when I don't compare myself to others.  So then, why do I still do it?  For me, there are certain things which I will probably always need to work on and this is one of them.  I think it is part of the human condition.

Right now this relates to creating an art portfolio for someone else's review.  So much to consider when creating something for someone else's critique.  One sizeable consideration is the ever-present question "Am I good enough?"    

The human side of this answer is that we instinctively compare ourselves to others.  For me, it sounds like this:  "I am not as good at drawing as her;" "I don't know how to sculpt at all and others do;" "I am no Monet."

The God*-side however is the side where I feel good because God is not comparing me to others.  "Of course you're not Monet, I already have one of them;" "Look within instead of around you;" and "Don't look at what you're not good at, consider the gifts you do have and put them forth."

My daughter is in the midst of completing college applications and she has about five different essay prompts to respond to.  One of them stumped her because it asked how she was unique.  "I am not the only one who does these clubs, sports and mission camps," she said to me.  But fortunately, one of the admissions representatives solved her problem and my own as well.  She said, "You know how you just told me about yourself; well, that's what you write about in the essay question about what makes you unique.  It's the combination of interests and experiences that you have had which make you unique."

In essence, she said, "Feel good about you.  Do not compare yourself to others.  Consider your gifts and put them forth."

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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:

1.  Do you compare yourself to others?

2.  If yes, maybe another follow up question is in order:  Who do you compare yourself to?  Why?  What impact has it had or is it having on you?

3.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

At the End of the Day, I am Still Crazed but Faithful

When I am in the best of spirits, meaning in a faith-based mood, I feel at peace.  But when I get crazed with thoughts that come from living in a world where we have concrete needs of food and shelter, worry seeps in and I can flit between faith (other world thinking) and real world thinking.

My thoughts might look like this:  we can't afford the tuition at that school....God* has an infinite pocketbook......we need to budget to the penny.......God has given me the world.....I am insane to be so faithful, will my life really unfold with ease as God has promised....With God, possibilities are limitless.

I could stay on this crazy wheel forever, but usually I am able to jump off, and find a restful place in God.  Today, when I asked God what else he wanted me to know about all of this, I randomly opened Nan Merrill's Psalms for Praying and came to Psalm 115 on page 243.

The words I was comforted by were about trusting God while we are on this earth; that if we do so, we will find peace.  And this is where I will choose to stay, knowing that the crazed thoughts will probably creep back in, but hopefully I will quickly find that resting place of faithfulness that gives me serenity.

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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:

1.  Are you in the best of spirits today or crazed by thoughts that take you to a place of fear and worry?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Coincidence or God? (A Case of Three Pings)

Earlier in the life of this blog, I wrote about my favorite Einstein quote: "Coincidences are God's way of staying anonymous."  This time I have a specific example of how this applies to my life.  I call these instances "a case of three pings," described as three separate instances, when considered together, are more than just coincidences.  In this instance, it was in the course of this last week that I have had three unique experiences with injured birds.

The first was on one of my early morning walks.  On this particular day I spied a cat bird dangling upside down, entangled by a prickly plant.  I was able to free it and it hopped into the underbrush.  Today it is one week later and the cat birds that have been in my yard all summer are gone, having migrated.  I like to think that the cat bird I freed was able to join all of its kind on the journey.

The second was a goose near the last hole of a golf course.  Its comrades were under trees away from the hole but this one just sat in the middle of the fairway, grazing lazily.  I was determined to not go around this "stubborn" goose so I walked right towards it. When it stood and walked, it immediately hobbled, having one injured leg.  I felt awful watching it limp towards its flock.

The third was in my backyard. It was a bird I could not readily identify because it was molting.  I expected it to fly off with all the little brown birds which dispersed the second I slid open my door.  This one didn't budge, however, and as I walked toward it, it just took a few more steps forward, never getting more than a few feet in front of me.  Within a few minutes it went into the brush and because I needed to go inside, I just assumed it couldn't fly and went back in.  I still wonder what happened to it.

As soon as this third incident happened I knew I had to spend time with it.  Why?  Because I have learned that if something related happens in threes, it's time to consider it's meaning.  What is God* trying to tell me?  For me, these situations related to some other pieces of my life and boiled down to how I feel after different scenarios, scenarios of when I do something good, or something foolish or I don't do anything at all.

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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, I'd love to hear from you and the community would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else; most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.

Reflective questions:

1.  Is there something that keeps happening to you, the same thing, or three different related "coincidences"?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God, what do you want me to know?)

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.