What’s Your Story’s Image?

I had a corporate career for about 17 years.  For the last several I kept saying, “just three more years that I need to work in this field, just three more years.”  And saying that every year meant that I kept pro-longing my desires and an attention to my life.  Leaving the field was a long journey, but one that included people and ideas and signs that I was not to stay stuck.  Eventually I did leave that field but by that time my attention to me was not where it needed to be.  I had neglected myself.

Fortunately I fell into spiritual direction**.  For at least two years I met with a spiritual director who taught me how to pray.  At one of those meetings she suggested that in my prayer time I think of an image of where I was at the moment.  That image that I began to carry with me was an unattended, weedy garden.  It was a starting place***. 

Reflective questions:

1.  What image do you conjure when you consider your life at this moment?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this image? 

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you for today.  It is not for me to decide.

**For more information about spiritual direction or to find a spiritual director, check out Spiritual Directors International at www.sdi.org

***One place it led me was to a book by Harriet Crosby called A Well-Watered Garden, A Gardener's Guide to Spirituality.  I have been using it for years and it has moved me to an image of a robust well-maintained garden that needs attention, with God's help and my best interest in mind, to individual areas from time to time.

God Why Did You Make Me….

Sometimes my imperfections make me crazy.  I mean CRAZY! 

A few weeks ago I was moving right along with my to-do list when I realized that the first trays of cookies in the oven weren’t going to taste good because I had erroneously put in baking powder instead of baking soda. Step one was to confirm my suspicions once the timer buzzed and yes, I was correct, not so tasty!  This is my go-to chocolate chip cookie recipe so I have probably made it at least 100 times before and it always comes out the same, except this time.

As a result of this, and many other similar types of situations, I find myself sometimes asking God why I am made the way that I am?  I always like His responses, they bring me peace in my fits of CRAZY.  Here are a couple examples.  God, why do I have OCD tendencies?  “Because to be you I need you to be organized.”  God, why do I rush to get things done and then I don’t do things exactly right?  “Because I need you to know that you don’t need to be perfect, because it is in these imperfect moments that you create.”

It always seems to boil down to “I don’t make junk.  I love you just the way you are.”  And about those chocolate chip cookies.  I didn’t need to throw that double batch away.  After I took a deep breath, shook out the CRAZY, I decided to experiment with the batter.  Turns out that adding a little bit of decorative salt more than halfway through the baking time saved the batch. 

Sometimes I feel like I was made from a defective batch of man, but then God tells me “I made you unique.”  Thank you God!

Reflective questions:

1. Do you have qualities that you dislike?  Are they ones God* is asking you to change or to accept?

2.  Ask God* what else do You want me to know? 

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you for today.  It is not for me to decide.

My Obituary

 

Tonight I wrote my obituary.  I was inspired by Lesson 34 in God is Always Hiring by Regina Brett.  She writes about 3 people who really, really lived.  This chapter suggested to me that we consider following one of those 3 individual's methods of living (Nancy Lee Hixson) which included writing one's own obituary, do those things, and revise and revise it until the day we die.  She did it for 7 years.  I hope I have longer.  Reading the lesson reminded me of the line in Shawshank Redemption about our choice to either get busy living or get busy dying.  I like to think that I am figuring out how to get busy living.

Reflective questions:

1.  Where do you fall on the spectrum of busy dying to busy living?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, God what do you want me know)?

3. Is it time to add your obituary to your journal?

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you for today.  It is not for me to decide.

The Pen that Bled

Where are you with your place in the world? Do you know that you have nothing to fear?  I am gaining ground but I am not there yet. Recently I had a hotel stay in which my pen bled onto the white comforter because I fell asleep while doing a crossword puzzle. I didn't tell housekeeping. Like I said I am not there yet. Instead I thought about turning the bedspread over. And then I thought what I would say if the hotel called me to say I spoiled their linen. Would I deny it?  I didn't want to deny it so I threw the guilty pen into the trash can as proof that it was me so that I would not lie. So I am getting there but I am still on the journey.

Reflective questions:

1. Do you have faith in the laws of nature?  Said another way, do you trust that all will be ok even if you have failed, are failing, expect to fail?

2. What does this story make you think of?

3. *God, what do you want me to know?

* I use the term God, Spirit, etc. as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, etc. better suits you for today.  It is not for me to decide.