Empty Days (Another Call to Stillness)

I've been told I'm a Golden Gal, defined as a woman fifty or older.  I like that term because it has an uplifting ring to it!  I must say, however, that I've been challenged these last few months with a sense of emptiness that comes with age.  My youngest is now off to college, leaving the house quiet, and while the first month was very freeing, I found the second two months leaving me feeling a little empty, especially in the afternoons.  Because I work from home, I enjoyed my kids coming and going, especially coming home from school mid-afternoon.  Now no family is with me until my husband gets home from work.

While I've added some freelance work to the work I do from home, it still leaves something to be desired during this afternoon space.  It's been suggested that I write during this time, but I do my best writing really early in the morning.  While this empty space is only a few hours, some days it is daunting.  That's why I wasn't happy when the twenty-four hour silent retreat rolled around.  Usually I long for it and love the November ones because it is right before the start of the holidays.  I had signed up for this one months ago, though, and now wasn't so certain about it. 

But of course it was just what I needed.  Twenty-four hours of silence can give us time to listen to our spirit's hunger, and for me, surprisingly, God/Spirit* said to "trust in the blessings of God's presence in our most empty days" (excerpted from the Opening Prayer the first evening of the retreat).

If you've been following my latest posts, you might have noticed a running theme which is a call to stillness.  Spirit keeps reminding me right now because it's in my nature to run full speed and fill this space.  But I haven't.  Not even at the retreat.  I didn't write prolifically like I usually do.  Instead I mostly read for pleasure and I tooled around with watercolors and then consciously left the paintings behind.  Bringing them home with me would have meant that I needed to do something with them, but that didn't feel right.  After all, Spirit had spoken.
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  Do you long for or fear empty days?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

Knowing Part II (Use our Senses)

One of the ways I was taught to pray with the Bible is using the Lectio Devina Method.  You can read more about that here:  https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-what-how-why-of-prayer/praying-with-scripture.  It's about putting yourself into the story and asking yourself, "What do I see/hear/feel/taste?"

I was reminded about this method yesterday when I considered the pond fish and whether or not to feed them anymore.  There's so much advice out there by experts.  In this case, it's the pond experts, the fish experts, and the fish food experts.  They all say something a little bit different.  So who is one to take advice from?

The best advice for me (the advice that made me say "YES, YES, this feels right") is to put myself into the story, to put myself into my life by asking what do I see when I watch the fish?  Margaret Roach, who blogs about gardening, put me on to this thought wave with her latest blog post.  She wrote, "My fish actually tell me around October that they are done eating:  even if I toss pellets into the pool, they show disinterest once it's cold." 

How simple!  I can take advice from what's in front of me - in this case the fish - and determine next steps based on what I see, hear, taste and feel.

As a result, I used this advice again today.  In front of me I found a memoir I haven't read yet and also business cards from three women I met recently who asked me to speak at their synagogue and/or women's groups. It gave me a moment of pause and discomfort because they said they would contact me but I haven't heard anything.  I needed to decide on whether or not to follow up. 

Considering the hearing, seeing, feeling pieces, here's what I know: 

• Chasing a lead is what I was taught, but it is not what I feel to be best for me.  I am grateful that these women took steps based on seeing the promotion about the event and feeling that they should come to meet me.  They acted upon what they saw and felt and therefore our interaction that day was good.  The ball is in their courts again and that feels good to me.  

• Taking time to be still allows for hearing.  What I hear in my prayer time is that right now I will reach the destination by being instead of doing.  It's not to say that I should not work, it's that I shouldn't push.  Instead, I should relish this journey by taking time.  The right people are right in front of me, I see them, and I should savor (taste) these moments.  

• I have started reading that book.  It's called Waking Up in Eden by former journalist Lucinda Fleeson about leaving her career in Philadelphia and beginning a new one in Hawaii.   Doing so is putting me into a story where I am seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting with my imagination.  My senses are alive and this is where I KNOW I am to be at this moment.

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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  What do you KNOW based on what you see, hear, feel, smell and/or taste?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by EJH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

How Do We "Know"? (Developing Inner Spirit Wisdom)

So how do we KNOW it's God* that is with us and directing us? This is a question I've gotten in response to the content of my book, Sprouting Spiritual Growth.  As is usual for me, I don't have an answer right away (I'm one of those people who has the right answer hours after the conversation is done).  The good news is the question wasn't forgotten.  I've been collecting my thoughts because it's a tough question.  Today, when looking back in my journal, I found another nugget to help me formulate an answer. 

The answer I have today is that as we develop a deeper relationship with God (we sit in the stillness, we ask for direction, we ask questions), we come to KNOW by taking notice.  Here are things to notice:

• Our body gives us signals.  Our bodies were made to move back to equilibrium, to homeostasis.   We are not meant to stay at the edges of the continuum that is flight or fight at one end and total lethargy at the other.  Because I believe God created man, I believe that God made our bodies in a way that keeps us in relationship with God.  
• Our minds notice when a thought is good and when a thought is wasteful.  When we move towards the good, we come into a space of self-acceptance and self-love, of God.    
• Our hearts/souls repel from certain activities.   If we are doing activities that have been thrust upon us as "you have to do this", and "to be successful, you must do that, and they don't make our hearts sing, it's time to stop those activities.  Moving away from the activities which repel our heart will God will give us direction.  The right people and ideas will be on our path.  If we are drawn to it, we can KNOW that it is good.  If we repel from it, it is not right for us.

This is not to say that it's easy to stay in this space.  It requires action on our part.  It requires faith. This is not easy for me!  That's why I'm grateful for the reminders of the body, mind and soul.  Lately my shoulders have been tense, I've noticed it and I've journaled about it.  My heart has not been singing because I am rushing (to write another book, to follow through on too many marketing ideas).  I sometimes find it hard to not jump on what others who have been successful tell me I should do.  When I do follow my heart's desires, like in the last two days, there is a KNOWING that it's all I need to do because God is in these very simple desires (enjoy the people who are in front of you, who have asked for a relationship, who are drawn to you). 

When I recognized that my body was talking back and I asked God* what I should know about this, God reminded me to stop pushing so hard (I'm getting off the November National Novel Writing Month train), enjoy what's in the every day (look out my windows at the birds, the more I do, the more likely I'll see a migrant), come back to stillness (God waits for me here).

If this repels you, it is not your niche.  Shelley Hitz, author and speaker, said to me and other conference attendees recently, "Your niche should repel the wrong reader."  If the idea of journaling, giving consideration to your body, mind and soul is repelling to you, move into the direction that you KNOW.  
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  What do you KNOW?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

Allowing Your Story to Unfold of its Own Making

I'm not done yet.  I like that I probably still have more time on this earth to play, to learn, to grow.  I also like to watch the days unfold of their own accord.  I can fathom some of it from the outset simply because of the intentions I set.  They're not goals, really, but the way that I want to feel when I go to bed at night.

Last night I went to bed content that I didn't over-manage my day.  I considered rearranging my dinner plans so that I would not have to wait for my companion and so that I could be closer to home at the end of the evening.

If I had done that, I would have spent time texting to change the plans and phoning for a new reservation.  Instead I enjoyed the person who was driving as I was the passenger.

When I ask God* what else I should know, God reminded me that I still need to get outside today and that daylight is fading.  What a simple request.  They usually are!
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  What are your goals for today?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

Nature for Nature's Sake, a Turning Point

My current journal is a lovely hardbound one with the title Nature Notebook from Northwind Press, Inc.  I found it in a stack of free stuff from a gardening club and I am thankful to be the benefactor.  It has loads of lovely printed animal and plant drawings as well as quotes about nature.  The one that stays with me today is by Khalil Gibran:

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet 

and the winds long to play with your hair.

It's a reminder of something I don't remember learning until well into my forties; that is, that it's not all about me in a man versus nature sense.  Sure, I can delight in nature, but I also need to remember that nature can delight in me.  For example, the great blue heron which eyed me as I stood at my window was possibly delighting in me, too.  I know he saw me because its neck turned as I moved from one window to another.  I wonder how long before I am able to recognize that it is the same or a different heron returning to my yard.  I wonder how long, if it is the same heron, before it recognizes it's the same eyes looking at it?  I wonder if it will sense that I am wary of it eating all the frogs and fish.  I wonder if it will be surprised when I let go of my man versus nature instinct and trust that not all will be taken?  When I ask God* what else I should know, God tells me that the heron will drop some of its feathers and leave me with beautiful memories if I let it.
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  How do you delight in nature?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

Slow Down Said the Apparition

Hi Readers, I'm back!  I've done the work to self-promote my book and now I'm releasing my energies to get back to writing (the blog, just once per week, and my next book) and letting God* get to work to have the right people find it.  Thanks for all your support and please enjoy the blog again. Post a response when you feel moved to do so and happy journaling.
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SLOW DOWN SAID THE APPARITION:  This morning I was having a late breakfast, looking out into my backyard.  Behind a five-foot blue spruce moved a whitish figure that appeared to be doing tai chi.  I was mesmerized and also so excited when I realized it was a great blue heron moving very slowly and deliberately.  I was so grateful to have been sitting there at just the right moment to see it.
This sighting and slow pace fit right in with what is missing in the world for many right now.  I see, read and hear it all around me.  Examples:

1. People don't have time to read books anymore.  "I'm still reading my summer beach read," one person said to me this week.  It's the third week of October.
2. The New York Times just published an article about a young thirty-something journalist who died from sleep deprivation and heart issues attributed to the amount of overtime she chose to work (https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/world/asia/japan-death-overwork.html). 
3. In between periods at the pro hockey game yesterday, everyone around me was on their cell and one woman even had an iPad with her.  Sadly, some people were plugged in to their phones the entire game, including children.  In these cases, they were missing out on opportunities to slow down and at the same time, be an active participant in their own lives.

As I type this, I see a hawk alight on a branch up high, two frolicking blue jays and many morning doves.  I sit still as I reflect on what to write. 
I hope I can convince people to stillness.  It's hard because when it comes to specifics, I don't have answers for each individual person, but it's because I don't need to know.  I only know to put my own desires on my heart and be very watchful for things in front of me, including a ghostly-looking great blue heron, to give me hints at the right direction. Fortunately, I can say that it takes very little time which seems to be exactly what people say they have.  But don't ask me, ask God*. 
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  Are you being called to unplug from this blog site or to follow the prompts?

2.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).

The Gift of Having Been Lost

Hi Readers, I'm back!  I've done the work to self-promote my book and now I'm releasing my energies to get back to writing (the blog, just once per week, and my next book) and letting God* get to work to have the right people find it.  Thanks for all your support and please enjoy the blog again.  Post a response when you feel moved to do so and happy journaling.
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THE GIFT OF HAVING BEEN LOST:  What I am finding from my clients is that since having left corporate America in 2009, people have more work responsibilities than ever - ever greater numbers of direct reports, unending emails, routine task management once done by secretaries (scheduling, coordinating, responding to routine tasks).  People are getting lost in carrying through the to-dos.
What God* wants me to know is that getting to the top of the mountain after having been lost is so much sweeter because we can appreciate the struggles.  I wrote this after writing about my meditation experience.  Part of that experience is I teach meditation to people who are seeking peace from their chaotic worlds.  Meditation is a perfect way to help us find ourselves (to recognize our thoughts).  It's a way for us, in the words of Gautama Buddha, to find enlightenment.  Enlightenment, more specifically, is recognizing that we can experience peace and joy even amidst suffering and dissatisfaction and then experiencing the joy amidst the suffering and dissatisfaction.  The first part is simply acknowledgement.  The second part is by putting it into practice.  Meditation is one way to do this.  Spiritual Journaling is another. 
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Now for the reflective questions which you can journal about or if you'd like to share your story, the community and I would love to hear from you!  Your comment could have a major impact on someone else.  Most likely it will be just the right thing at the right time for one of the readers. For me, God* wanted me to know that helping even just one person is wonderfully impactful.
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Reflective questions:
1.  What is your definition of joy?

2.  What helps you to feel the joy amidst the dissatisfaction and suffering?

3.  What does God* want you to know about this (ask directly, "God, what do you want me to know?")

* I use the term God as a universal term.  You may decide that Great Spirit, Allah, Higher Power, Sensibility, etc. better suits you today.  It is not for me to decide.

Photo by MH

Note:  These posts are part of a broader call to do spiritual journaling which is simply journaling what's on your heart and mind and then asking God* what else you should know (read more at CardinalTouch.net).